“i’m okay with gay people but i don’t think bisexuality is a real thing”
(via religiousmom)
what is the most effective way to get people to touch my legs bc i just shaved them and i would like someone to acknowledge this rare occurrence
fuck i hate when children cry like why cant you just internalize your emotions like the rest of us
(via deerpong)
i’m gonna start posting this pic in the tags of people that i want to follow me
(via religiousmom)
the only thing I know about xbox is that that one guy fucked his
(via zackisontumblr)
“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
(via frickstiel)
when i have tons of money i will still buy cheap clothes because then i can have 100 articles of clothing for the price of 1 really expensive designer item and i will have a lot of money left for food
(via serialkillertelietubbies)
i like australia because we call things what they are. like what the hell is a dime? its ten cents. a quarter? do you mean 25 cents we aint doing fractions here we are trying to buy some shit
(via masturgr8)
dumb story because i think i’m funny
we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered
‘hot wheels’
(via whore-who-found-glasses)
granddad this is the first dance of my wedding can you please stop trying to tell everyone to ‘open up the pit’
(via gerardwho)
